dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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