Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
