We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
