I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
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