and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
