Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
