Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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