I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
