i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
