oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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