Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
