seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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