tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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