i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
