Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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