hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
there is glitter all over my balls
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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