don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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