is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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