break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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