tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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