kristin has been a bad kristin
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
