I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
