should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
