i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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