We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
