I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
