is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
