I CAN MOONWALK!
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
