3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
