I must be too annoying 4 u.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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