happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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