I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
