So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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