They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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