Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
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like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
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I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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