so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I forget how to act sober
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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