what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
