I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
