I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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