also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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