Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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