I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
