thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
