you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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