You work out of a Hotel?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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