we have pet lesbian snakes
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
