see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
