What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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