If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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