I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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