just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
