We won't sleep together?
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
