yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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