And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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