We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
