I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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