I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
