This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
