you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
